To the people who have written to me with comments regarding my looks in the past few days ….. I love your emails and the wonderful complements you have for me. Please do not take this wrong, nor think me crass, mean or awful. This is the deal. Real talk.
I am so honored when you love my poetry and words. (as these are actual slivers of my soul, pieces of myself I share with you) I am here for your reading pleasure and delight! (that is why this blog was created)
It is even great when you say nice things about your perception of what you see in photos. Here, is what may be beyond your perception.
I am human. I have good and bad days and have even gone through some very challenging times. I have battled and struggled the same as anybody. (weight, depression, broken heart, death, loss, divorce, shame) You guys see mostly professional photos, with great make-up, and even better lighting. ANY woman would be gorgeous in these conditions. (believe me)
So because I especially love the three teen girls who have been writing, i’m showing all of you guys me at my very worst. Humiliating, embarrassing, vulnerable, raw ….. This is me UNPRETTY. (one without make-up and one when I was big) Young ladies, your insides were never meant to be compared to another’s outsides. In this lifetime you will learn that what matters in the end is WHO YOU ARE. You are not the parents you have come from, you are not your rez, you are not even the things others tell you that you are. The things you give to others is what makes a lasting impression, it is what people will remember about you. Your life will be what you choose and make it. Looks, men, money, are not YOU and will never make or define you. You must believe in and be strong in yourself and who YOU are. It is MORE than enough. You are PERFECT the way you are, right this minute. You are each beauty in the truest sense of the word. I am nothing. I am the same as you. My looks have not had much, if anything to do with who I am. Looks will fade and change. (even with “pretty girls”) It is important to take care of yourself, eat well, and exercise lots. (but since that is fun it shouldn’t be much of a bother really) My life is not perfect, i’m so far from flawless. I’m just lucky, i’ve got some great friends who really love and support me. I come from a good family. My life was not easy and you girls were suprised to learn how much we had in common.
I would love for us to remain friends and continue to talk. You really opened my eyes and heart to what goes on with so many of our young women these days. You are each so cool! I think ya’ll should keep talking together too. We can learn alot from this time we have shared and taken to get to know each other. This is how lasting friendships are built. Remember our talks about building, praying, about why it matters to do good things. Also remember that your lives are just beginning, where things are right now, is no where near where they will end up. All of this is going to be a speck in your rear view mirrors. There is so much more than the first step. You have miles and miles! When you mess up and fall short, we just try harder the next time. (but we always keep trying again until we get it, right?) You come from really strong women, who have never given up. You have to be like that too. A woman brings light and happiness into this world. I would like to think any light I offer comes from within. It’s not something given to me from the world, which means they cannot take it away.